Venom, the piercing energy drink that strikes back, promises a lifetime supply of product and a corporate monster-hunting sponsorship to anyone man enough to subdue and capture the (presumably) ferocious, untamable Montauk Monster
PLANO, Texas, July 31 /PRNewswire/ -- Dedicated to enabling the most
thrill-seeking conquests known to man or beast, Venom energy drink is offering
free product for life and a corporate monster-hunting sponsorship to the first
person badass enough to capture a live Montauk Monster.
Was it a de-shelled turtle? A chupacabra? A manticore? No one knows for
sure, and the mystery of the grotesque sea-beast that washed ashore yesterday
morning in Montauk, N.Y. remains a mystery. While vacationing Hamptonites
recoiled with fright and the Internet exploded with speculation, the team
behind Venom mobilized for action, realizing that this was the chance for true
adventure that its thrill-seeking customers have been waiting for.
'This quest isn't for the faint of heart. Google the thing and you'll see
what I'm talking about. That beak could shred a bottle of Venom,' said Chanda
Rhodes, brand manager for Venom. 'We bet it is going to put up a pretty big
fight. It's going to take a lot of energy and a huge set of cojones to bring
it in alive. That's why we're guaranteeing the badass who can do it a lifetime
supply of piercing energy ... in a bottle.'
As a consultant to this quest, Loren Coleman, director of the
International Cryptozoology Museum and Cryptomundo blogger
(http://cryptomundo.com) said, 'I would advise Montauk Monster hunters to use
great caution getting close to this cryptid, and to wear thick gloves.'
The hooked beak had Coleman mumbling, 'You may need a bigger boat,' over
and over.
Rhodes also reiterated that the bounty would not be awarded unless the
creature is brought back alive. 'We don't care how you do it. Nunchucks,
robots, plasma grenades - just make sure it's still breathing. No
disintegrations.'
For more information about the beast and how Venom can help you summon the
courage and energy to answer this challenge, visit
CaptureTheBeast.blogspot.com.
SOURCE Venom Energy Drink