Here's the story. Humbly I evaluate myself as a reasonably articulate, accurate writer, packing more than 50 years of journalistic practice under my belt, but not even I can paint a rosy picture about the look, smell or taste of this pharmaceutical cocktail.

Further, I've never seen a thirsty customer sashay up to a drugstore soda fountain and order one.

It looks like _ let's see, let's put it this way, it reminds me of a pot of watered-down library paste.

Anyhow, on a Thursday morning recent, it came my turn to ingest a share of this concoction. Somebody, not long ago, deduced that it should be devoured prior to a particular procedure in the hospital.

My guess, this prescription will one day be reduced to a miracle capsule and a glass of nonmiraculous water. Meanwhile ...

"Shake well," it said on the bottle. Well, playing it safe, I shook the bottle a good five minutes. Possibly it'd improve the taste. At least cause pervasive evaporation?

I discovered I'd have to drink a second bottle _ an hour between each. At first, when watching my wife store them in the pantry, I thought she'd fallen for another of those store come-ons: buy one, get one free.

And so, as Thursdays eventually do, along came another _ time to take that first swig, get on with it.

I already knew it wouldn't be as tasty as Fletcher's Castoria. Back in my kiddy days medicine came mostly in liquid form and in just about every disagreeable flavor known to scientists. Including Castor oil.

How could I forget the time back then when Mom finally cornered me in the rear room of our home with a ladled teaspoon of some new remedy. Her brave little boy finally held his nose and took his medicine like a man.

Believe me, at that moment it tasted yummier than a sweet peach. Ah, my first taste of Fletcher's Castoria, billed as a "Pleasant and Complete Substitute for Castor oil" for children. Remember?

No, I didn't hold my nose Thursday while gulping the beverage. It went thickly down, and, I'd swear, in slow motion. If your doctor should prescribe this modus operandi for you, know it's really not so ghastly. Just in case, my prayers be with you.

Friday my doctor's nurse advised me that he wasn't satisfied with the test, and rescheduled another. Plus that same drink? "Yes."

What!?

Well, at least I had a fortuitous ending for my column.

Or did I? Unfortunately, as I later learned, the new test would not include The Drink. Aw, what a shame.

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(Retired Sentinel staffer Ed Hayes, 85, welcomes comments. Write him c/o the Orlando Sentinel, MP-72, P.O. Box 2833, Orlando, FL 32802-2833.)

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